Maybe you think it’s a no brainer, to ask Were Any of the Disciples Married? But, the truth is that this question should be explored and answered. It reveals yet another place where our expectations are projected onto the text.
The Bottom Line
Only Peter is linked to marriage in the Gospels, with a reference to his mother-in-law. And, Paul reveals that at least some of the disciples later wed.
Questions like this one are exciting for me. I love patiently working my way through the scriptures, traditions, and biases that inform the answer. I used the same method to assess the age of Isaac at his binding. It’s perfect for navigating these kinds of challenges.
Relevant Sources
- Matthew 8:14, Mark 1:30, Luke 4:38 All of the synoptic authors reference Peter’s mother-in-law. We can safely infer that Peter was married.
- 1 Corinthians 9:5 Paul reveals that some of the others later took wives.
- Pirkei Avot 5:21 This portion of the Mishnah sets the expected age for marriage at 18.
The Context of Marriage
In the first-century Jewish world, marriage was normally expected by early adulthood, often by the early twenties. For a fully grown man to remain unwed, it would break the expected custom.
Peter’s mother-in-law appears because she received a miracle from Jesus. However, ancient writers routinely left out details that were not pertinent to the purpose of their writing. So, we should not interpret silence as a conclusive sign that the others were single. Still, the evidence does point that direction.
Rabbinic Views
The Mishnah shows clear cultural expectations surrounding the age of marriage. It expected men to marry, not simply out of their own desire. Instead, marriage was an act of faithful obedience.
“At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age;” Pirkei Avot 5:21
Apostolic marriage would have fit within the religious expectations of their time. But, that said, there have been notable, unmarried exceptions in Judaism. So, marriage was not a requirement. I like Ben Azzai’s response on his conundrum.
What shall I do, as my soul yearns for Torah, and I do not wish to deal with anything else. It is possible for the world to be maintained by others, who are engaged in the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply.
Early Church Fathers on Marriage
Early church fathers affirmed the marriage of the apostles without discomfort. Eusebius agreed with Clement that it was not wrong to marry, claiming that Peter and Philip both were married and had children. How could you reject marriage without rejecting the apostles?
And, there was broad pro-marriage agreement beyond them. However, few of these writers left evidence of their own marriages. And, to the best of my knowledge, Tertullian is the only one who directly references his wife.
Catholic Position
If you explore this question very long, you’re going to come across articles written from the perspective of the Catholic church. And, I just want to make it clear that I disagree with this position.
I think that it requires more of a stretch to assume that Peter’s wife was dead, or that the others were accompanied by “spiritual sisters” than their wives. Especially when the early church fathers and cultural context align so well in opposition.
My Opinion
When I put all of it together, I end up less interested in counting spouses. Scripture makes it clear that some disciples married. How many? At least five, but probably less than twelve.
I’m more interested in the lack of their wives in the gospels. To me, this is another piece of evidence that contributes to seeing the disciples as teenagers when Jesus recruited them. Especially given their response in Matthew 19:10, which still makes me chuckle.
Common Misunderstandings
Don’t assume that silence on the matter of the disciples’ wives indicates celibacy. That doesn’t stop certain denominations from prohibiting marriage in the priesthood. But, I do not see support for that interpretation from the text, itself.
Also, we must hold our conclusions loosely and with humility, especially when drawn from the absence of something in scripture. So, I would not engage in argument over this question.
Conclusion
So, were any of the disciples married? The New Testament gives us one clear example and several strong possibilities. And, this is a familiar pattern in scripture. It offers clarity when necessary, but often leaves us to meditate and wrestle for the things that are less important.
For me, the takeaway is humility. Scripture does not explicitly answer every question the way that we want it answered. Instead, we must allow it to be the foremost influence in our interpretations. Let it lead us. Isn’t that the point all along?
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